shouldve listened to my heart. it was right all along. they were never my friends and i was living a lie.

i wasted all my time with him.
and what a waste i now realize it was.

well, misery loves company.
and maybe i just loved you so much that you took the truth to that out of me.

i was never one for breaking hearts.
the outcome of a broken heart has never been my thing.
he(you) was(are) always the ruiner of hearts.
yet, just once i wish he(you) could accuse me of being what he's(you're) so well known for.

saturday--i watched two kids kiss in the rain with their hoods up and i realized how badly ive always wanted to feel that.
i want the rush of romance back in me.
i wonder what it'd be like to kiss you in the rain.
better yet, the season is beginning.
i wonder what it would be like to kiss you in the falling snow.
as i feel you let her go.

tell me again.
tell me you love me.
you know you mean it.

if loving you is shady and wrong.
then i want to forever be your shadow and never want to be right.


yourprincessofbrokenhearts.
theirprincessofriots.

stars used to fall for us.

watch closely.
this is how a heart breaks.
-over and over and over again.

i saw him hold her hand at lunch today.
it shot sharp pains through my body.
and i felt tears of hurt from my heart through closed eyes and head in hands.

i never tried to be someone i wasnt.
maybe that was the problem.
i was more than you bargained for. -wasnt i?
i was your challenge.
i was your shot at changing something that no one thought could change.

did you feel shame when you let yourself down?
did you feel shame when you let me down?

i wish i was numb to the way you make me feel.
yet, if there was something as simple as a pill to take to forget you and everything we had..
i dont think i would take it.

maybe its because im addicted to feeling this way.
maybe its just because i dont want to let you go.



yourprincessofbrokenhearts.
theirprincessofriots. {for GC}

a girl can wish, cant she?

i wish i was the mirror you look into every morning.
i never get tired of looking in your eyes.

and when he bumped into me in the hallway yesterday i seen the look he used to give me.
the look that said he loved me.
im starting to think he still does.
maybe he still does.

and everything you say.
i take it the wrong way.


yourprincessofbrokenhearts.theirprincessofriots.

i wont fall for it next time.

"im young and im hopeless.
im lost and i know this."

im a hopeless romantic.
and i only wish for a romance that i'll never have again.

and that night.
on the 8th of october.
our eyes connected.
benji. -you seen me.
you heard me say it to you.
over 1000 screaming fans. -and you seen ME.
you seen Me tell You "i love you".
through the gloss in our eyes and the spark in our smiles.
you know the 30 second chemistry was there.

and my mom just put clear coat polish over Paul Thomas's signature on my MADE shirt.
pray for me.
im so paranoid for this outcome.


yourprincessofriots.

im sick of trying so hard. ive been falling apart.

"i wont change myself to impress you."

you have no idea how hurt i always am on the inside.
you have no idea.
and im afraid youll never know.

and you continue to kick me when im down.
why dont you just keep breaking me down.
i wont stick around.
its a promise.

this is who i am.
why cant you just accept that?


yourprincessofbrokenhearts.
theirprincessofriots.

i found my safe place. yet i always knew where it was.

see.
you didnt have to treat me the way you did.
and if you thought you couldnt be replaced.
you were wrong.


yourprincessofbrokenhearts.

and for 10 seconds i knew.

it was 23 days before halloween.
and we already know ill be your evil queen. :)

you caught my eye.
i caught yours.
i never would have dreamed id be able to tell you i loved you.
but through unspoken words.
you heard "i love you" so clear.
and for those 10 split seconds i knew.
i knew your smile was saying it back to me.
isnt it true?
you wanted me too.

you know im your riot girl.
my eyes sparkle like you want.
and when our eyes met.
it was meant to be at that moment.

i mouthed the words i could only dream of saying to you.
and your smile said you wanted to mouth them back to me.

"i love you"
i cant even imagine how in a sea of girls dying to be yours, you seen me say it to you.

"standing in a crowded room.
but i could only see you."

and now im thinking maybe you could only see me too.


yourprincessofriots.
(for GC.)

hes a heartbreaker. im a risk taker.

just put a fresh new coat of black polish on my nails.
i wont shower for a week.
if i get a hug from benji or joel tomorrow.
i think ill claim myself as an insomniac for tonight.
i wont sleep a wink.

tomorrows the day ive been waiting for.
i remember when i was counting down and had 35 days to go.
tomorrows the day i will have the best time ever and show myself that if i want something bad enough and take some risks i can have it.
i will take risks tomorrow.
i pray to have the reason i wont shower for a week.
i pray to have pictures ive only dreamt of getting.
i pray that i will stand a foot or less away from one of them and be able to connect our eyes.

pray for me too.
my faiths been wearing thin.

i need this.

cant sleep. cant sleep. wont sleep. wont sleep.


yourprincessofbrokenhearts. by night

caught you. glossy-eyed.

i caught you today.
you stared at me then looked away.

you looked at my necklace in wonder.
the one you bought for me.
im sure the wonder was why i still wear it.
i wonder about the exact same.

maybe i still wear it because i want the symbol to stand for more than the person who got it for me.
but thats only a maybe.

any of your guesses would be as good as mine.

and when i caught you so glossy-eyed.
your eyes looked up and connected with mine.
i wished for (us)(it) one more time.
just one more time.



yourprincessofbrokenhearts.

you make me feel everything i dont want you to make me feel.

but i dont care.

" Did i miss your call again? no, you never called it was a thought inside my head.
did i take the fall again? i shoulda payed attention to all the words you said.

cause i lost today.
i'm not okay.
heartbreak, a fake smile, and 2000 miles.

i check my caller id. now there's every number but the one i want to see.
i've been falling apart. since you been gone i don't know where i need to start.

cause i lost today.
i'm not okay.
heartbreak, a fake smile, and 2000 miles.
away she is. i can't live like this.
heartbreak, a fake smile, and 2000 miles.

if i told you that i love you, would it matter at all?
if i told you that i need you, would you catch me if i fall?
fall.

cause i lost today.
i'm not okay.
heartbreak, a fake smile, and 2000 miles.
away she is.
i can't live like this.
heartbreak, a fake smile, and 2000 miles. "

i pray you know how much you helped me from hitting rock bottom last night.
and you know how much i meant what i said.


yourprincessofbrokenhearts.

were you feeling okay today? because i couldve sworn you smiled at me.

its pretty sad when we cant hug.
because we both know if we do we'll want (it)(us) to be that way (always).

[edit]
is everyone done breaking my heart now?
im trying my hardest to not cry.
and im trying my hardest to feel ok.
but i think i may be done trying.

[edit]
and you said what i needed to hear at the perfect time.
and when i said i loved you and you said you loved me too.
it felt good to know you meant it like i meant it to you.

you always know just what to say.
i wish it was that easy for me.


yourprincessofbrokenhearts.

pep rally boys and band groupie girls. (wouldnt the world be a blast?)

you cut your hair.
i noticed.
remember when i would run my fingers through your hair repeatedly as we kissed?
shell never know how much you meant to me. -and im starting to believe neither will you.
shell never love you like i d(id)(o).
remember when people would say how cute we were together as we would hold hands?
and remember when i was best friends with your sister and i would spend the night at your house and sleep in your bed when you werent there?
i love(d) the smell of you on your pillow.
and do you remember all those times we laughed so hard we cried and the times we cuddled and you held me till i was asleep in your arms?
my favorite sound (wa)(i)s the beating of your heart.
remember when wed make out and 3 days later wed both have strep throat?
remember it happened twice?
and remember when we fell off your couch kissing in your basement?
and when we'd talk for endless hours on the phone and end with the sweetest words we knew?
and do you remember how we would say "i love you" to each other?
as if it would always be that way. -forever.

i do.
and ill never forget.
im drowning in these memories.
and theres nothing anyone can do to save me from my own torture.
its me vs. myself and im locked in a box i call my world and i have no key to get out.

and deep down you know shes not right for you.
im as close to 'your type' as youll ever find.
you said i was everything you wanted.
and i wont say it was a lie.
because till this day i still believe.


yourprincessofbrokenhearts.