Its funny how one Sunday i can have it all figured out and the following Sunday im clueless.
i went from one Sunday of an unbelievable illusion feeling of ecstatic-ness to the next Sunday full of deep thought and an absolute state of confusion.
sometimes i dig myself a hole so deep that it becomes over my head,
and even after ive stopped digging i realize 10 minutes later im in sinking sand and im going under no matter what.
sometimes you just have to face the music and in my case ill choose Good Charlotte & Simple Plan to soothe me today.
Yesterday was a Fall Out Boy day. so was the day before that.
i still have homework to do before tomorrow, but playing my guitar sounds much better- minus the fact it sounds like crap when I play it.
i hate how I create scenarios in my mind and get so far into them that I forget I created them in the first place.
i forget theyre not real and I become “in too deep”. I am “in too deep” right now. - but I cant let it go.
im addicted to pretending im someone else.
i know reality, I only pretend we’re strangers.
its like I strive for the end of the school day just so I can get home and be someone im not.
a totally different personality outside of school is starting to inspire my personality inside of school.
the funny thing is the personality isn’t real. Not to me its not anyways. Its only how I think it is.
-and how I think it is, is becoming how it actually is.
confusion is when I accidentally forget which day I already wore my favorite jeans to school.
its not in style to wear the same jeans two days in a row.- why cant I just be out of style?
of course its harder to be in style these days..
“the best years of our lives arent as easy as they seem”.
and now I think I need an extra dose of affection,
love’s given up on me so many times- but I refuse to give up on it.
its my addiction.
im addicted to falling in love and then being failed by it.
im like a hot iron on something plastic (im an accident waiting to happen) and I stick to you.
my life is one big misunderstanding. -or so it seems.
im 50% everything you’re not and I don’t want to be.
edit: ive seen days like this before, the day after something happens is always "one of those days".
feelings like this- insecurity sets in.
its funny how people see you and how 'you' see 'you'.
sometimes i wish i could trade eyes with someone on the outside.
theinkheartinthepalmofmyhandneverstaysforlong.
