she has no idea what this feels like. -and she doesnt even care to know.
i guess best friends arent always what theyre cracked up to be.
teardrop shaped razorblades and teardrop shaped hearts
make cuts the size of clandestine pins and bleeding that wont stop.
blood mixed with ink.
i dreamt i got "xo" tattooed on me. -now i think i will.
ill carve a heart into my wrist and show you im not afraid.
now hold my hand and lets hope for the best.
i know you wish the worst on me. -i wish the worst on me (and you) too.
theres a thin pink outline in the shape of a heart.
its on my wrist because cutting dont work.
it says "xo" in the middle to show what my love was for you.
and my blood is in the outline.
didn't you know id do anything for you?
now i wont let it fade.
wont let it go away.
ill wear it on my wrist to remind me of you everyday. -to remind me of how we used to be.
my parents seen my wrist.
they just dont understand.
they cant, because no one can.
no one can hack into my head and heart and say the same things im thinking.
and most likely if im thinking them ive already said or written them.
i dont think before i do anything. -i just do it.
i think about it later.
ive been spending a lot of time with my older brother who is the same age as a lot of my idols.
and im starting to realize my brothers become one of my idols.
no one understands him either.
except me.
me and him- we're living Simple Plan songs.
hes living "Perfect".
im living "Welcome To My Life".
we cant control it. -it just is.
we have more in common than i ever thought.
he wouldnt ever change for anyone.
and neither will i.
andshellsurvivebecauseof:theheartonherwristandthewordsinherhead.
