i think they might think im crazy.
they dont get it and i cant explain it.
so theres a dance at school tomorrow night after the football game.
i was thinking of going and "sitting out dances on the wall" to watch you dance with girls i absolutely cant stand.
and as id sit there and watch you id think of how stupid i was for saying i hated you.
how stupid i was for saying anything i did to make you hate me like you do (now).
i (still) love(d) you.
and deep down you know it.
it only tears me apart when you face me and our eyes connect and you look away as if you had been facing nothing.
im nothing to you.
atleast i am now.
we used to be everything to each other.
its funny how i still dwell over all the broken memories of you.
and its funny how i get to my bus before you walk to yours just to watch you walk past mine.
what am i doing?
maybe i dont really like him as much as i think.
maybe i only think i like him because he (momentarily) could be replacing you.
although-
i dont think anyone could replace you.
i wanna get over you so bad.
and i just dont know what to do anymore.
i mean come on.
youve invaded my dreams almost every night for the past couple weeks now.
its not fair.
and its pretty horrible when i can wake up with tears in my eyes.
and have no memory of crying in my sleep.
i wonder what my face expressions are when i dream of you.
when you try and patch my heart back together through a realistic dream.
i hate realistic dreams.
i hate them because it truly sucks when youre having the best dream ever and you just want to almost pray that someone kills you in your sleep just so you can forever be stuck in that dream.
i havent had a good break down in months.
the tears are there just have no motivation to pour and never stop.
and i conclude in the thought that:
they may never understand.
but i always will.
yourprincessofbrokenhearts.
